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Big Winkie Contests

28 Jul

Excuse me sir, how is your dinner? Spicy enough? Say what? Your internal organs are developing capsaicin blisters? Excellent! Glad I could help, enjoy your dinner.

Seriously, what is it with people who flaunt their extraordinary abilities to withstand and/or embrace extreme flavors? Should I be impressed? Are you trying to prove something? Are you actually even enjoying what your eating?

I’m not talking about the folks who order their stuff extra hot; but the people who make special requests for the kitchen to absolutely obliterate their meals with so much jalapenos, chili oil, bird peppers, and chili flakes to induce tearing and sneezing throughout the restaurant. I’m also talking about the double IPA and barleywine drinkers who seek out beers with characteristics of cotton-mouth inducing dried hops. Maybe they savor every mouthful, enveloping their tastebuds with herbaceous bitterness or nerve searing spiciness. Maybe they get high off it.

I can’t claim innocence: I have a freakish adoration for durian. I’m not flaunting my ability to withstand and even enjoy the stink. It’s more about the custard-like texture and the way the flavors travel with each exhale from my tongue to my nasal passages. And yes, I really do savor every little bite I can get my hands on. I meticulously clean off each seed pod of the delicious flesh and then I go after the crevices in the pith-like segments with a spoon. (Sometimes even with my fingers!)

I have to remind myself to be less judgmental… but I can still be snarky!

P.S. Didn’t have any awesome pics of chili peppers so I’m substituting pics of my yet to be ripened sun golds. BLAND!